The Internet Dating Debate
Posted: Wednesday, August 08, 2007
by Caroline Reed
I was at a bar with one of my housemates when this couple sat on an adjacent couch and started a conversation. We asked how they met, and they said on the internet. My immediate response was in the form of laughter. And then I realized they were serious.
“Oh. Very cool." It was a weak attempt to repair the situation and the couple left soon after, presumably quite offended.
Again, my immediate response was laughter, but as I lay awake in bed that night, I started to wonder: is meeting someone on the internet really that weird?
Think about the day and age in which we live. Everything is done over the internet – reservations, job applications, prescription refills, bargain shopping, car buying, high school diplomas, and, obviously, talking. In a world that revolves around computers, is it honestly surprising that people use them to meet each other?
You’d think that after 9 versions of AOL we’d be habituated to the idea of cyber-strangers. But when couples explain how they met on the internet, they’re still receiving the same wrinkled noses and high-pitched questions: seriously?
If the futuristic idea of creating a child based on the chosen alleles of parents is being debated, it seems only natural that choosing a mate would become just as specific: click on the traits you want, and eharmony will do the rest. The perfect man delivered right to your inbox.
People go on blind dates all the time. Is this any different? I suppose it is if you have a mutual friend who can vouch for the person’s normalness, but friends are biased, especially old friends, which means there’s still a chance the other person is nuts. And there’s always the chance that you don’t mesh at all. At least eharmony is preventing that from happening to some extent. At least he’ll be your ideal height. Or love your taste in music.
And how is meeting someone via the web different from asking out a stranger in a coffee shop? In both cases you know nothing more than their physical appearance.
The common reservation people seem to have is based on the stereotype that the only people using the internet to find dates are those who are consistently rejected in real life. But remember that the average working person spends up to 8 hours on the internet per day. This makes me think that perhaps it’s more of a natural progression rather than an issue of rejection.
Perhaps match.com is the modern version of sitting on a park bench and waiting for the perfect stranger to sit and share a bag of birdseed or good conversation.
And these days, what are our other options? Going to a club and hoping the next guy who puts his crotch on your ass will want a meaningful relationship? Suddenly, I’m not so sure.
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